His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
