Porn is love you can see.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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