i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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