Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
