Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
