i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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