Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
