Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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