NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
