i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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