His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
