Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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