I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
