Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Boobs speak an international language.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
