I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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