next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
