Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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