Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
