Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
