I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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