The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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