I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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