eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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