I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
