I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
