I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
