thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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