Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
