..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
