Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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