Screwed.edu
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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