i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
