I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
