just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Someone came in the potted fern
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
