Hey man sorry I got all grabby
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
