We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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