..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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