U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
