i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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