Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
