I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
