Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
