Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize