ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize