You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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