Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
