Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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