So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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