I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
