i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
