He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
