i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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