I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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