After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
