I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
