He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
