I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
