shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
