Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
