I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
