She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
